Versus Parents?

07 Nov

When we’re a little kid, our mind-set was built from our parents’ education. Feeding food is using right hand. Receiving things using left hand is inappropriate. Respect the elders. All of those rules, we had them along us growing up.

As well as the religion beliefs. When we’re a little kid, we followed our parents’ beliefs, whether it was Christians, Catholics, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, etc. Then after we’re mature enough to choose, we can decide which beliefs to believe.

Thus when we grew up, our mind-set is not just a mere derived mind from our parents. When we’re adolescents, friends and teachers were suggesting our mind. The environment where we lived, people we met, would eventually establish whether a person is good or bad. Along with increased ages, we started to select, which is good and bad, is acceptable as good input or needed to be thrown away ‘cause its destructing effects, with a little conscience provision from our parents.

Then we step adulthood. We already have our own idealism. Something not only is our parents’ education, but also the lesson learned from our environment, life experiences, doctrines and inspiring things. We supposed to be able to choose our own path, even to bond a family. But meanwhile, there comes the most important figures in our mind’s initiation times. PARENTS.

Parents, until the world is having its end, will always regard their children as children. No matter how old they are, in parents’ eyes a child is always seen as “the little one who needs to be milk-fed”. These kind of times which often cause a disharmony relationship between parents and child. On one side, the child feels he/she is mature enough to choose his/her own path. But on the other side, the parents still insist to decide which path for their children, because of the thought of “My son/daughter still know nothing, if I don’t guide him/her then he/she will be lost.

I didn’t mean to say, “You have the right to choose no matter what others say, even your parents.” I don’t want to be a rebellious child either. I can understand, parents only want the best for their children. I understand my parents’ worries of having to let me go stepping my own rocky path. They have stepped on it first, they know how hard it was struggling, and they must’ve known the “acid salt of the earth”. I know, whatever it takes, my parents are God’s agent to deliver me into this world, without them then I’m nothing. But what I’ve been pitying on is the times when my parents couldn’t understand me.

Everyone deep inside his/her heart must be having at least one dream. And so am I. I’m dreaming of taking my Master Degrees in foreign country. But unfortunately, I just found out that my parents, especially my mom, couldn’t really accept the idea. She, when we’re discussing about my academic’s future, often said, “Can you really stand the cold weather there? How is about the living cost? Be careful of free sex, Mom’s scared something bad might happen to you. Remember well that you must not have an affair with other than Indonesian! You must marry an Indonesian!” and other rejection phrases.

Sometimes it makes me sad. I want to evolve. I want to learn how to live in foreign country. I want to enrich my experience with a new living I’ve been yearning for. Ohh, how much I wonder how it feels studying aboard in my dream country. And the saddest thing is, the ones that I hope to support me, to give me courage, are the ones who stand first to reject it. It’s really heartbreaking.

I understand, this kind of thing needs time. I have to struggle trying my best to convince my parents that I really want this. I have to learn to be more mature and open their eyes that I’m not a kid anymore, and this is what I want. Well, though I still haven’t known whether I will achieve a scholarship to study aboard or not, at least I want to evolve to be good enough for my parents. Hopefully someday at the right time, my parents will understand it.

P.S : to all those who experience the similar condition as I have, NEVER GIVE UP! Believe that there is no struggle in vain. And remember always that at least there will always be one person who is struggling together with you. It’s me. 😉


Posted by on November 7, 2011 in Life


4 responses to “Versus Parents?

  1. saskyong

    November 7, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    opposite sama ortu gw.. malah gw disuruh ke luar negeri, ngejar gelar master ke sana, kerja di sana, tinggal di sana, dan syukur2 bisa ketemu laki baik ganteng di sana :p tp malah gw yg berat karena kasian sama papi mami, atut kangen akut haha. semangat sist!

    • deravn

      November 8, 2011 at 11:37 pm

      well, the main problem is mamih maunye aing sama orang Indonesia, takut kecantol bule kali yak..mungkin sebelum berangkat harus udah punya pacar..tapi tapi tapi, i don’t trust anymore with LDR..ah, serba salah, huft..anyway thank you sist!

  2. colson

    November 13, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Adolescence is about finding one’s identity and also- partly- about detachment, loosening ties with parents. Which is tough on the almost-adults and perhaps even tougher on the parents.

    Being a grandfather now I know it was hard to let go when our sons and daughter reached that age. But glad I ( we) did.

    I really hope your parents will help you to find your path in life on your own.

    • deravn

      November 13, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      Yeah, I haven’t been being a parent so maybe I still don’t quite understand how it feels.
      Thanks for the wishing, I hope that as well 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: